a letter to 5 years older self (?)

Dear you,

how are you? i hope something good happen to you today..
here I am, a 20 years old you-- still like to cry and over thinking. are you still like this? well i really hope that you didn't.

where are you and what are you doing right now? cause I am in your room, confessing my feeling into tears. Yup, I'm crying.. crying over something that unclear. I bet you still remember how frustrating it is to feel like you just not really good enough,  like you did your best but the result disappoint you. Or you just too tired from everything. I wonder, will in the future you still feel like this? Then again, I hope you wont. I really hope that you've found your happiness. Or at least you already free from your insecurities.

Dear my future self,
Have you found what path that you should take? Or are you already walking on it? Cause I still dont know. I feel like i barely lost my self. And about our dream.. are you still chasing it or have you give up? I know it wont be easy.. even now, somehow sometimes I have a doubt about it. "Can I make it happen?" "It seems impossible for me" like sometimes theres a voice inside my head saying "you'll never reach it" but believe me, I did as best as i can to achieve it. But I really hope that I didnt do something that can make you have any regret in the future. And If i did, please forgive me

Today I was also happy. Happy to know that I still gt surrounded by a kind peoples, just like him. But also a lil bit sad cause i know that people will come and go in life. Can I just keep those people who I love for a long time like forever? :( I always know that moment will go but I never can prepare my self :'). So what I'm going to say is.. No one lives forever so be sure to cherish every moment.

Dear you, I hope you get to spend time outside in one of the most beautiful places on earth. Just go! Travel with someone you care about.

And one of the most important thing, I hope you're not afraid at picking up a phonecalls anymore x').

Dear you and whoever reading this,
I'd always pray for your happiness.

-sincerely,

Me 💚.