Pardon my mood swing

Friday, 7th of Oct. 2016

I started my day like usual but there's just something different about that day. It is because I was on my mood swing mode.

I play musics as i worked, having a simple convo and surfing to read some article, read and watch DIY things, even online twitter to read some deep tweet (doing all the things i like to kill the boredom cause of waiting xD) oh, and download some cute picture!!  > <)o.

Then after done some random search... I got a drawing pic of lotus. It's awesome!! i always love a drawing pic of flowers. Why? Because it's truly made, umm i mean... You need to draw it first, need to color it.. and the most important thing is you need to put your heart in it! (Thats only what i thought and thats why i love something that hand-made. tapi aku sendiri jarang buat hal kaya gitu 😂). Actually i wanna made some for them who'll graduate soon... But it seems like I'm running out of time :'((

Doesnt mean I dont like real flowers. Well, I do. But.. i feel sorry for the flowers that have been cut. I'd love to watch it grow old with me. Duh i sounds like a garden ish, right? XD. Tapi aku gak pernah benar-benar bercocok tanam padahal berharap bgt bisa punya taman kecil suatu saat nanti xD. Ah... Haruskah aku ksh mereka dlm bentuk seperti ini? Tapi aku malu xD

So, since my mood was still good atm, i downloaded it and set it as my whatsapp profile pic. But in the afternoon suddenly i felt so gloomy. Just like what i said many times before. I felt like I'm not good enough, like I've done my best but still feels ugly. Sometimes i kinda just hate 'me'. Feeling like I'm at my worse (?). And there i go, i just cant stop the tears but luckily... None notice cause there's only me.

Terlebih ada dia, umm.. can i just call him as mr. Zombie? Lol.
Hello mr. Zombie! (I know you read this, so I would like to say thankyou sooo much :')).
Idk whether you'll remember it or not.. but, thankyou so much for your kindness.. your kindness just save me (Ok, maybe you'll think i'm over but.. idec:')). Thankyou cause i know you must be so tired from attending college but you made a time to come to pick me up. I'm happy, but also feel sorry cause I'm always troubling you. Even i didnt notice that you haven't had ur dinne (bukan cowo doang kok yg gak peka 😂). I'm so sowwyyy... 🙈
(habis maksudnya aku kan padahal biar dia bisa cepet-cepet istirahat).

I thought i would cry in front of him, just like what i did if I'm in front of fani 😂 but ah thanks God I'm not.

Terus di rumah juga gitu sampe mamah bingung aku kenapa marah-marah gak jelas tp sambil nangis juga karena ade nyebelin. Pas ditanya sm mamah yaudah aku bilang aja lg pusing dan ade nyebelin trs langsung msk kamar 😂.

Beneran parah deh mood swingnya gak jelas bgt. Berasa kaya org stress :')), so dear my future husband (?) Bear with me ya :')